You're so nebulous sometimes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
A bitchslap is in order.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
