matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
