I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i dont even know how to be here
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
