I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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