You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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