How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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