There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
