remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
