wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
