dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
