Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
