after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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