She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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