Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
