i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
