Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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