Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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