How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
