Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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