My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
