I feel great
I just peed on a car
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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