You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
