White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
