I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
