i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
