so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
