Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
