he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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