I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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