It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
