Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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