we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize