Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
