I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
