i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
