We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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