I'm lost and stupid without you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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