And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
