Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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