woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
