My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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