so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
