Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
