If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
