love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
