I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
