at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
be right there i have to get my cape
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
