i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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