Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
