Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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