Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
