I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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